Some Gems Culled From The Lawyerly Archives

Q.  Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?
A.  No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.

Q.  And who is this person you are speaking of?
A.  My ex-widow said it.   

Q.  Officer, what led you to believe the defendant was under the influence?
A.  Because he was argumentary and he couldn’t pronunciate his words.

Q.  Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A. All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.  

Q.  When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?
MR. BROOKS: Objection:  That question should be taken out and

Q.  What is the meaning of sperm being present?
A.  It indicates intercourse.
Q.  Male sperm?
A. That is the only kind I know.  

Q.  (Showing man picture.) That's you?
A.  Yes, sir.
Q.  And you were present when the picture was taken, right?  


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