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Showing posts from February, 2012

Alcohol

Dear Ugly People,
You're welcome.
Sincerely,
Alcohol

MLB's Drug Policy

I was a police detective for a while.  I know about cases being dismissed or lost based on a "technicality".  What that means is that the accused person actually did what he was accused of, but the evidence of that misbehavior can't be used because 1) Someone made a mistake in handling or collecting the evidence of the behavior, or 2) A slick lawyer convinced a judge or other “fact-finder” that some public servant is corrupt.
Simple.  He did it, but the evidence got tossed out.
That would be Ryan Braun's situation with Major League Baseball. 
I'm not certain that Milwaukee will want to keep this lemon, but he can probably get a job with the Red Sox, the Yankees, or that group of thugs in Miami.

Fair Value

I see that Matt Cain has yet to sign an extension with the Giants.  He says, through his agents, that he wants "Fair Value".  I'm not certain at all how many millions for how many decades that means.  "Fair Value".  Really?

I spent over 30 years of my life as a law enforcement officer, protecting, among others, your sorry ass, Matt.  "Fair Value".

My pension is so measly that even at my ripe old age, I work full time to make ends meet.  "Fair Value".

I still watch games every possible way, and since I'm what MLB considers an "out of market" fan, I have to annually purchase a subscription so that I can watch the games on MLB.TV.  That subscription costs $120.00 a year.  Sometimes that's hard for me to cough up, but I manage.  "Fair Value".

Next time you use the term "Fair Value", consider what some of the folks who pay your wages have done with their lives.

"Fair Value".

The End of the Weather Chanel

I get my local weather from a couple of sources--I normally review my Internet stuff, but still continually tune in to the Weather Channel on TV.  But that's about to change.

The Weather Channel seems to now be a wholly owned subsidiary of NBC, and they're making no bones about it.  Frequent breaks in the weather for updates on non weather related issues from CNBC, CNN, and MSNBC--Mindless original programming like "Ice Pilots".  Ick.  Trying without success to become the Today Show, lite version.

None of that, however is the cause of my departure.  Here's the 411 from my corner--They have continually advertised "Your Local on the 8's" as the way to get local weather updates and forecasts.  A pretty slick deal, actually.  I wait for a clock time that ends with "8", like 5:08 PM, or 6:08 AM, then flip over to the Weather Channel, miss the idiocy of their programming, and get a forecast.  Seems that of late, I tune in to the Weather Channel…

How To Watch Television, Chapter 2

The television has a built-in tuner.  I had not anticipated that my Bride would actually change the channels on the television.  But, of course, she did.

I get home from work last night and sit down.  The television is not on, despite a text message I had received from her earlier that pronounced victory in television watching--she had accessed the Internet content and Netflix.  Hymns of praise were sung.  Orations were delivered.  Victory was at hand.

When I got home from work, though, she hands me the remote controls and says....."I want to watch TV".

"Oh" says I.

She had inadvertently changed the channel on the television (as opposed to the Cable Box, the Explorer 3100).  When that channel is changed away from 3, the content from the Explorer 3100 (or the Toshiba CD/DVD/VHS player, for that matter) simply will not display.  The Sony Streaming Player doesn't mind if the TV is on channel 3, channel Q, or channel Elephant.....it will still play.  But the cabl…

How To Watch Television

My Bride is technologically challenged.  I just love that terminology--"Challenged"--What my Bride actually is can only be accurately termed "At Sea".  If it's electronic, she has trouble with it.  This would include wrist watches with batteries and AM only car radios.  Interestingly, she seems to have no such liability when accessing the myriad of electronic devices affiliated with cooking.  But, I digress.

Which brings us to today's informative study:  How To Watch Television, a "How-To" guide by Jim Young for his Bride.  We'll start with--

Definitions:

1.  The Entertainment Center is the large wooden wall unit directly across from the sofa and recliner in the living room.  It would seem to be a bookcase, but contains, rather than books, electronic devices and pre-recorded media such as DVDs, CDs, tapes, and the like.
2.  The Toshiba Television is the large silver colored viewable device in the center of the Entertainment Center.
3.  The Ex…

Local News

Here in my little corner of the Rust Belt, we have local news.  OK, everybody has local news, and I'm certain to some degree that it always gets a little, um, predictable.  One of our repetitive news stories is the "We're taking back our streets from the gangsters" line.

Of course, what brings this up for me again is that it was on the news this morning.  Seems the good citizens of Warren are going to "come together" (I really LOVE that term), form up some vigilante posses--Sorry, I mean Neighborhood Watch groups, and....Well, they had a meeting that was attended by all the usual groups, including the churches and schools.  A representative of the police was there.  I suppose there will be further speeches, maybe a sing-along, and a parade.  Dandy.

If you'll bear with me briefly, I know haw to fix the problem--whether it happens to be Warren, Youngstown, or any other town.  It's simple.  Here's it is:

Catch and incarcerate the criminals.  Let th…

Captain Kirk

I couldn't sleep last night (muscle aches, it would seem), so I turned on the TV and watched the 2009 version of Star Trek on channel FX (I really do have some trouble with "naming" TV channels--I'd much rather just have numbers)--It was originally billed something like "Not your father's Star Trek" as I recall, and I have seen it before.  Good movie, good story.  I understand that the actors have all been contracted for two sequels, and that one is planned for release next year.  Good news abounds.  Star Trek lives.

Star Trek originally aired in 1966, when I was a Junior in high school.  I didn't watch it then--I can't remember watching any TV at all in those years.  I was just too busy--A typical day went like this--Up at 6 or 6:30 AM, drove myself to school in my own car, attended my classes, went to football practice, band practice, or track practice, then immediately went to work until midnight at the Shell gas station where I was nearly …

President's Day

Big deal holiday here.  However, I work in private industry, and it's not a holiday for me.  I work tonight as a driving instructor.  My hope is that the kids I get to drive tonight are confident buy not cocky.  Always a good hope.

Nope, don't even get extra pay for the holiday.  President's day.  Yeah, I know--honor the office if not the man.  That said--

On President's Day, Obama steps out of the White House and, if he sees his shadow...............

Six more weeks of unemployment.

Crisis

I have a pierced ear—on the left lobe, thank you very much.  Not really that big a deal, and it’s been that way for about 20 years.  But I haven’t worn anything in it for, well, probably 5 years. 
As a result, no one at my current place of employment knows that I have said piercing. 
So I tripped across my earring box a couple of days ago and put in an earring.  One of my co-workers noticed, and said something.  What she said was “mid-life crisis?”
And all I could say was, “Yep—about 20 years ago.”
I wonder if actually wearing an earring now would qualify as a late life crisis.  I just don’t feel very much in crisis.  Don’t feel late life either.
Maybe I should just go get some de-caf and egg-beaters and think about it.

Woody and Buzz

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The Syndrome

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'.
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."

Aim High

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Bumper Sticker

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Good Guys

I was disappointed when "The Good Guys" was canceled after one season in 2010 by Fox.  'Course, Fox has done in some other dandy programs that left me wanting more, like Brimstone, John Doe, and two X-Files spin offs: Millennium and The Lone Gunmen.  By the same token, Fox finally (after 50-some episodes) canceled that crap-fest Arrested Development, so at least they sometimes get it right.  But, I'm writing today about The Good Guys.

TGG ran for a single season, and I loved every minute--Dan was a left-over 80's detective in Dallas, and I identify with him--his wardrobe could have come out of my closet.  Jack is his young upwardly-mobile partner.  Good Guys in every possible way.  The writers peppered the sound-track with appropriate old rock and roll.  It was magnificent.

In the pilot, here's what really turned me on--During the final car chase and shoot-out, our heroes are driving a Firebird with T-Tops chasing a bad guy and a hostage, while two assassins…

A Waste

I read that Whitney Houston was found dead in her Beverly Hills hotel room (at age 48) on the eve of the Grammy Awards TV show.  I wonder what (or who--sorry, it's my nature) killed her.  OK, you caught me--I don't wonder.  I have some clues based entirely on her history and bizarre behavior.  I can draw a reasoned conclusion.

None of that alters the fact that her performance with Kevin Costner in "The Bodyguard" and her rendition of "I Will Always Love You" in that movie knocked my socks off.  Still does.

What a waste.

Action News

At least a couple of times a week, I watch the "19 Action News" out of Cleveland--that would be Ohio.  It's tabloid style with a heavy dose of Exposing Evil.  Lots of fun.

You get accurate weather and Cleveland sports (that's REAL pain no matter what season).  A garden variety medium level story tonight was about the Powerball Jackpot which seems to now be well into the Gazillions of Rubles.  The main thrust of the story was that you can go to a variety of websites and they will supply you with lucky numbers.

State Lottery Defined:  An extra tax on those who are bad at math.

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Sign on Obama's desk in the Oval Office:  "The Buck Starts Here".

Netflix via the Sony SMP-N200

Then, visualized on my aging Toshiba wide-screen HD but not nearly state-of-the-art television for a paltry $7.99 a month:

WOWZER BATMAN!!!!!  YIKES!!!!!

Behind the Curve

The very concept of Internet content streaming across my little wireless home network onto my television is, well, stunning isn't quite the right word, but it seems close.

I bought a Sony streaming player for one of the TV's and set it up.  Found some interesting free stuff, and then got myself a subscription to Netflix.  I never had Netflix before yesterday, but I'm sold.  I guess my days of going down to the locally owned video store are just about finished.  Television content delivered by the cable company might be the next thing that goes away.  'Course, I'll have to keep the cable for the high speed Internet.  Oh, and the phones.

I know that I'm behind the curve on this stuff, but I'll catch up.

The Nettalk Duo Telephone Device

Just a brief comment here—I recently added a second phone line here at the house with the addition of a device called “Nettalk Duo”.  Looked like an altogether better device than the “Magic Jack”—truth be told, they have similar capabilities these days, but I just couldn’t live with a “magic” device.  The name “Magic Jack” sounds like infomercials and virus-laden software while “Nettalk Duo” brings to mind quality engineering.
The Nettalk Duo is available at nettalk.com.  That’s where I got mine, anyhow.  The price is $49.95  including the first year fee of $29.95 (that’s $2.50 a month, campers) which includes unlimited local and domestic long distance.  These things are available from vendors on eBay and Amazon, but they cost more—go figure. 
It hooked up easily and quickly into my Linksys G router.  Works like a—get this—telephone.  Whaddya know.
So far, I have no complaints.  Good job, Nettalk Duo.

Arts and Entertainment

I've never been one of the "Soprano" audience.  Had no attraction for me.  Maybe I was a cop for too long and saw too much of that stuff in my real life.  Or maybe I just found it distasteful that a drama/sitcom/whatever was written to elicit sympathy for a mob family.  I just never bothered.

I belong to a dandy gymnasium these days.  I've been a member of many in the past, but this one is great--It's Planet Fitness in Boardman, Ohio.  Clean, nice people, open 24 hours a day, and it only costs 10 bucks a month.  Lots of treadmills and stationery bicycles and other stuff--and a bank of televisions that you can watch. They seem to show pretty much everything on their 20 or 30 TV's.

So I'm jogging on one of the treadmills last week, watching Fox News and ESPN--not a bad combo actually, when my attention was grabbed by a television on my right.  It was that large framed goombah who is, I suppose, the head of the Soprano family.  He was garroting some other …

Super Bowl 46

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The business of Roman Numerals for the Super Bowl has lost all meaning for me.  Lets all just agree right now to use Arabic, OK?  Or write our the words in English.  If everyone insists that it needs to be difficult to understand, then lets all agree to change the method regularly, OK?  A rotation, if you like.....Here's my plan--use these, changing the method for each and every Super Bowl:






Say what you want.  I like the Babylonian.

Color Chart for Boys and Girls

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The Best U.S. President Ever

I was watching a movie the other night.  Air Force One.  You remember.  The one where President Harrison Ford personally kicks the collective asses of a bunch of Russian miscreants and saves the free world.  Quite a story, and it depicts the second best President in the history of these United States.

The third best President in the history of the U.S. was President Morgan Freeman when he single-handedly prevents the United States from imploding while we were awaiting annihilation by a comet in Deep Impact.  A genuine leader if ever there was one.

Best President ever?  Thought you might never ask.  Bill Pullman.  Independence Day.  He deploys himself into a fighter jet to go mano-a-mano with space aliens and saves the Earth from a very bad end.  I saw that movie at a theater in Sacramento, California on it's opening weekend.  Waited in line and sat in a packed auditorium.  When President Bill Pullman gave his "Independence Day" speech just prior to going into battle aga…

This Explains So Much

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The Trouble With Being President

As the outgoing president was leaving office, he told the incoming president that there were three envelopes in the lower drawer of the desk in the Oval Office. "I prepared those three envelopes for you. When you get into trouble, remember those envelopes."
After about six months the new president got into trouble with Congress. He remembered the envelopes, and opened the first one. It read: "Blame it on the previous administration." So he did, and the problems went away.
A year later the new president faced a major crisis. He once again remembered the envelopes. He opened the second one. It read: "Blame it on the previous president." He denounced his predecessor and blamed the current crisis on the previous president. Once again, his problems went away.
Then when we was running for his second term, the president once again found himself in trouble and wondered if he might be defeated at the polls. He remembered the envelopes. He opened the third envelope, a…