The Investigative Findings

Last year, Time Warner Cable started offering "on demand" programming--in other words, if I miss one of my MOST favorite shows (like Eureka, Haven, or Warehouse 13 on SyFy), I could go to the on demand channel and watch it later.  How cool is that?  But, it got better.  The commercials were bunched up in one or two commercial breaks, and they weren't very long.  So, I could fast-forward through the ads, or I could watch them--either way, I got to see my one hour program in about 40 or 45 minutes. 

Nirvana.

I actually chose to watch them on demand rather than when they were first run, just to conserve time.  Oh, and not get too irritated with the massive commercial breaks. 

Look.....I understand the concept of commercial TV.  I really do.  The programming is secondary, and only needs to be good enough to keep the audience in their chairs to watch the next batch of ads.  I really understand.  Not only that, I agree with the concept--it's a bargain struck between myself and NBC--I'll watch their idiotic commercials in exchange for a bit of free programming.  LISTEN UP NBC-----I AGREE!!  OK???

But please keep it reasonable.

So, I work most evenings and now, in order to see the previously mentioned three SyFy programs, I'm obligated to watch them on demand.  For the uninitiated, SyFy is a wholly owned NBC product--like USA and a host of other cable channels.  That's why I'm yelling at NBC on account of SyFy programming, OK?

So, I watched Eureka and Warehouse 13 on demand, and it seemed like the commercials breaks were rather massive and frequent--I fast-forwarded through them as best I could, but, well, it was torture.  This afternoon I had a free hour and decided to catch the season opener of Haven.  The commercial breaks seemed, well, massive and frequent.  Like pee breaks at a beer bar, you know?  So about half way through, I quit fast forwarding through the commercial breaks and started timing things.  I'm a detective, and this is what I do.  I detect.

Here's the unscientific, but accurately timed break-down:
-5   minutes of Haven programming, followed by
-4 minutes of commercials including 6 product ads and 2 ads for upcoming SyFy programs, followed by
-6 minutes of Haven programming, followed by
-4 minutes of commercials, including 5 product ads and 5 ads for upcoming SyFy programs, followed by
-5 minutes of Haven programming, followed by
-3 minutes of commercials, including 4 product ads and 5 ads for upcoming SyFy programs, followed by
-5 minutes of Haven programming, including the ending credits.

That's a total of 21 minutes of Haven, and 11 total commercial minutes--Of course, that started with 5 minutes of Haven, and ended with 5 minutes of Haven--If I would have started five minutes earlier, the totals would most likely be more like 21 Haven minutes and 16 commercial minutes.

It was better last year--Really.

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