The Scope

I’m headed in to the local surgery center for a colonoscopy today.  I know, I know—TMI.  But, it’s on my mind, so you get to know all about it too.

Although I’m going to go to a “surgery center”, I consider this something more akin to a “procedure”, as the retirees in Florida might say.  My doctor says that they’re going to look for….um, anything out of the ordinary, I guess. 

This all started a couple of months ago after a fairly long bus trip that I took (the bus trip itself is a story for another time), and when I finally got home, I found that I couldn’t do a #2 in the bathroom, if you get my meaning.  Actually, the old #2 was conspicuous by it’s absence for a week.  So, I called my doctor, who said, and I think this is an actual quote, “If it’s been a week, there’s nothing I can do—go to the emergency room”.  Which I did.

They discovered that I had a case of “divertic-you-something or other”, and infection of my lower GI, I was told, and I was admitted to the hospital, given a not quite private room with an insane old white guy (I call him “insane”, when actually all he ever did was remove his catheter from his hoo-hah and crap all over the floor repetedly.  Maybe he was just eccentric), and given an IV drip containing antibiotics for 3 days, and a SERIOUS laxative.  Then I went home.  During my follow-up, I was informed that I was sadly overdue for a colonoscopy.  A procedure that, I’m told, consists essentially of putting a TV camera up my nether region and having a look about.

Yesterday was the day that I became re-acquainted with the SERIOUS laxative, and the concept of a clear diet.

Much as you were hoping I wouldn’t, I’ll keep you informed.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Very Simple Request

In the late 1970s (that would be during the Carter administration and THAT gas crisis), I drove a Datsun 1200 for a while.   It was a good, small, simple car, and I could afford it even though I had virtually no money. As I recall, it had 12 or 13 inch wheels, no power anything, a four cylinder engine, and a four speed manual transmission.   It was light weight with no amenities.   None.   It had an AM only radio and a tinny little speaker.   No air conditioning either—can you imagine?   No AIR??   On the freeway, when larger cars would pass, the jet wash would buffet the car slightly after the larger car passed.   It was orange, and it routinely got 35 to 50 MPG.   40 to 50 on the freeway and 35 to 45 around town.   When the tires wore out, it was about as expensive as putting new tires on your bicycle.   If it needed brakes, it was about as expensive as putting brakes on your bicycle.   Did I just repeat myself? Here's what the car did.   It provided reliable transportation
Read more

Karma

I see that the Marlin's Scott Cousins has been placed on the 15 day disabled list with a "lower back strain", and has been replaced on their active roster by Hanley Ramirez.  And that the Marlins are 3-18 since leaving San Francisco. Karma's a bitch.
Read more

Spring Training

It’s a sad season for fans of the SF Giants. Sad. I have no idea who these guys are—I read that they have employed 17 big-league coaches. Jeebus...17 coaches. The general behavior of the club is the same as an expansion club that’s trying to decide who it wants to be when it grows up. I also read that they’ve signed so many players and coaches that they’ve run out of jersey numbers and have issued “0” and “00”. Now, I don’t know if all that’s true, but I do read the McCovey Chronicles, and one of their pieces on the web site this week is entitled “ Which Fictional Character Do You Want To Manage The Giants?”. So it’s not just me. Fictional Character to manage? One of their suggestions was Elle Woods, and I think that’s just dandy. E ven at that, baseball in general is in trouble…..Currently over-regulated and over-sanitized with way too many “metrics” . Players are over-paid causing ticket prices to rise out of the range for a regular guy (such as myself) to go to game
Read more