The Scope

I’m headed in to the local surgery center for a colonoscopy today.  I know, I know—TMI.  But, it’s on my mind, so you get to know all about it too.

Although I’m going to go to a “surgery center”, I consider this something more akin to a “procedure”, as the retirees in Florida might say.  My doctor says that they’re going to look for….um, anything out of the ordinary, I guess. 

This all started a couple of months ago after a fairly long bus trip that I took (the bus trip itself is a story for another time), and when I finally got home, I found that I couldn’t do a #2 in the bathroom, if you get my meaning.  Actually, the old #2 was conspicuous by it’s absence for a week.  So, I called my doctor, who said, and I think this is an actual quote, “If it’s been a week, there’s nothing I can do—go to the emergency room”.  Which I did.

They discovered that I had a case of “divertic-you-something or other”, and infection of my lower GI, I was told, and I was admitted to the hospital, given a not quite private room with an insane old white guy (I call him “insane”, when actually all he ever did was remove his catheter from his hoo-hah and crap all over the floor repetedly.  Maybe he was just eccentric), and given an IV drip containing antibiotics for 3 days, and a SERIOUS laxative.  Then I went home.  During my follow-up, I was informed that I was sadly overdue for a colonoscopy.  A procedure that, I’m told, consists essentially of putting a TV camera up my nether region and having a look about.

Yesterday was the day that I became re-acquainted with the SERIOUS laxative, and the concept of a clear diet.

Much as you were hoping I wouldn’t, I’ll keep you informed.

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