Hummus Day at the Yard

I was taking a long detailed look at the S.F. Giant's baseball schedule, and noticed that most of the dates have some “special” thing going on—Lots of “heritage” games. In case you're wondering, that's something on the order of Chinese Heritage Night (with a special hat or bobblehead or something as a give-away) or Korean Heritage night, with much the same sort of thing going on in addition to the mandatory baseball contest between my beloved Giants and some lesser baseball club. I have no grief with the Chinese, or the Japanese, or pretty much any other “ese” or ethnic group or religion, unless the group preaches “Death to America” as a substantial part of their credo. I guess that's why there's no Iranian Heritage night.

Looking further, there's all sorts of “special” nights and days—Metallica, Marvel Superheroes, University of California (Berkeley), Autism, LGBT, Jewish…..The list goes on, culminating (at least for me) with Peanut Allergy Day. Peanut Allergy Day. No, I'm not making this up.

Here's what Major League Baseball seems to have forgotten. If EVERYTHING is special, then NOTHING is special. On the other hand, maybe it's just that MLB hasn't as yet covered all their bases, if you get my meaning, and I think you do. Here are some suggestions on some more “special” game designations, that seem to have been sadly overlooked so far. They are ALL important to some segment of the baseball fan population:

-12 Grain Bread and Hummus Day
-Irritable Bowel Syndrome Awareness Night
-Gypsy Heritage Night
-Senator Joe McCarthy Remembrance Night
-Tattoo Removal Night
-Acne Awareness Day
-Alimony Day
-Breast Implant Day
-We Hate Each Other From The Old Neighborhood Day
-My Printer Is Out Of Ink Night
-Red-Head Appreciation Day
-Knitting and Quilting Seminar Day
-Waterboarding Is Not Torture Night
-Nipple Ring Night
-I'm Gonna Sue Your Ass Off Day
-Half Polynesian/Half Black Heritage Night
-Bring Back Calvin and Hobbes Week
-Erectile Dysfunction Awareness Night

I hope I didn't leave anyone (other than those NAMBLA perverts) out. If I did, I'll try to fix it next season.



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