Ambulance Chasers

We thought TV was going to hell back in the 60’s and 70’s—HeeHaw, Room 222, Gilligan’s Island, the Brady Bunch, Hullabaloo—and all the rest.  We were wrong.  Those were the Good Ol’ Days with quality programming and commercials that made sense—Buy some smokes and liquor.  Those ads have been replaced by ambulance chasing lawyers and prescription drugs.  Frankly, I preferred the smokes and liquor.

Then there’s the actual programming.  Back in those Good Ol’ days, we had channels with numbers.  Like this:  Channel 2, Channel 3, Channel 4, and so on.  Now we have channels with names.  Like this:  MTV (Music Television), History, Video Hits, Arts & Entertainment…..You get the picture.  My guess here is that when these channels were named, the name of the channel was supposed to have something to do with the actual programming.  But that’s only a guess.  Because, here’s what I found available on my cable TV channels at noon, on Thursday, 8-25-2011:

-MTV was showing an episode of Jersey Shore—while I’ve never partaken, I understand that this is a program about the lives of amoral Eastern Seaboard 20-somethings sharing bodily fluids and fighting.  Music, however, seems to be missing.
-MTV2 was showing an episode of Rob & Big (whoever or whatever they are) about their adventures in a haunted house—again, no music seems to be involved.
-The History Channel was showing an episode of UFO Hunters. The historical perspective, I imagine.
-The Science Fiction Channel (SYFY) had an episode of the Ghost Whisperer.  Not science in my mind, just fiction.
-The Travel Channel offered an All You Can Eat spectacular.  Maybe you have to travel to get to the spectacular.
-The TV Guide Channel had the 25 Biggest TV Blunders, Part 2—Wait a minute…..PART 2?  No guide, just blunders, I suppose.
-QVC is a shopping channel and they make no bones about it.  Honesty is the best policy and all that, but the program was the Joy of Christmas.  Need I remind them that it’s August and school has not yet started?
-Chiller, that scare your pants off you channel, showed Beyond Belief, Fact or Fiction, hosted by Jonathan Frakes.  Chilled I am not.
-Country Music TV had a movie—Steel Magnolias—but no music.
-History Channel International was discussing werewolves, National Geographic had Mixed Martial Arts, Discovery had something about building and racing motorcycles, and A&E—well, I was not entertained and there were no arts involved, and it just goes on and on.

So, I suggest that they all scrap the names they have given themselves, and revert to just numbers.  It’ll be less irritating. 

On some other day, we can get back to commercials that make sense, OK?


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